| The Winning Side << Amnesia Rules >> The First Ring |
(Attacks come in as Tang, Pigsy, and Mo cower in the T.E.A. with Monkey King, who's still meditating.)
Tang: We're all gonna die. We're all gonna die! The two of us aren't built for the action stuff, Pigsy. We're sidekicks at best and you know it. (Pigsy looks at Monkey King and grabs him.) B-But wait, Pigsy! It's—
Pigsy: "Dangerous to wake someone from a transcendental meditation." I know, I know! But so is whatever is out there! Okay, I have an idea. I've been saving this for a special occasion. Tang, I present the Chaos Ultra Ghost Pepper of Doom! It's so hot, you'll get third-degree burns just from looking at it.
Tang: Uh, are you sure you should be keeping that in your pocket?
Pigsy: Well, if anything's going to wake up Monkey King, it'll be this. Incoming!
(Pigsy shoves the pepper into Monkey King's mouth. Monkey King wakes up in the middle of meditation with the last vision of his companions.)
Monkey King: Stand back, Master! Sun Wukong will handle this demon! (He kicks open the door and hops out, looking around.) Hmm, guess I must have scared it off. (Above, the demon backs off.) Master, it's safe to come out now. You too, Piglet.
Tang: Master?!
Pigsy: Piglet?!
Monkey King: Ugh, fine. Zhu Bajie, better?
Pigsy: Uh, what is happening right now?
Tang: Uh, Monkey— Uh, Sun Wukong? Who exactly do you think we are?
Monkey King: What kind of question is that, Master? (He gasps, dropping Mo.) Unless, Master, you've lost your memory! (Pigsy chuckles as Monkey King shakes Tang.) You have to remember who you are! That's Zhu Bajie, the Celestial Swine! This is Sha Wujing of the Flowing Sands River! And you are the Great Monk Tang Sanzang! We're on a journey to deliver sacred texts to the West! I'm your loyal companion, bound to keep you safe from demons who know if they eat you, they'll become immortal! You! Have! To! Re-Mem-Ber!
Tang: (Woozy.) Okay, okay, I remember.
Monkey King: Excellent! (He gasps.) Where's my staff? (Pigsy chuckles again.)
Tang: See Pigsy? I told you, this is exactly why you don't wake someone from a transcendental meditation. We broke the Monkey King! He thinks he is his past self and we're his old companions! If we don't find a way to bring our Monkey King back, we're gonna be stuck with this one.
Monkey King: (He sees a stick.) Ah, my trusty staff!
Pigsy: So this is just the amnesia rules, right? So we bonk him on his dumb head and boom! Back to normal.
Monkey King: What'd you say, Piglet?
Pigsy: Piglet?! Oh, that's it. (They stare each other down.)
Monkey King: Master, just say the word, and this little piggy will be a steamed ham!
Tang: Alright, let's calm down. Let's not get carried away! (Tang screams as he's stolen by the demon.)
Monkey King: The demon! It took our Master!
Pigsy: We gotta do something!
Monkey King: Exactly! Let's go! (He grabs Mo and Pigsy.)
(Tang wakes up and sees a Scorpion Queen.)
Scorpion Queen: There, there, sweet monk.
Tang: Demon! D-Don't eat me!
Scorpion Queen: What? No! I'm not, I'm... clearly a beautiful queen.
Tang: Right...
Scorpion Queen: Oh, you're afraid? Don't be. I saved you from the hideous Scorpion Demon and brought you to my castle.
Tang: Oh, yes, a lovely scorpion-themed castle... Okay, uh, so I'm gonna go—
Scorpion Queen: You can't leave!
Tang: Okay, listen, I've been kidnapped by a lot of lesser demons so there's nothing that you can do that would convince me to... (He sees piles of food.) live here forever. Well, I am a little peckish. (He grabs a plate of food.) But-but don't go getting ideas.
Scorpion Queen: Whatever do you mean. (She laughs evilly.)
(Pigsy is watching Monkey King scour the lands.)
Pigsy: What does this have to do with getting Tang back?
Monkey King: Hmm.
Pigsy: Is this the same sort of garbage you tell MK instead of talking to him straight?
Monkey King: MK, huh?
Pigsy: Of course you don't remember the kid. One day, you are gonna grow up to be a terrible mentor!
Monkey King: Hah, Zhu Bajie, can you imagine me teaching someone? Hah!
Pigsy: Can we go find "Master" already?
Monkey King: You know as well as I do that in order to find out what type of demon we're dealing with, we need to talk to the Local Tudi.
Pigsy: The local what now?
Monkey King: Tudi! Tudi, Tudi, Tudi! Tudi, Tudi, Tudi! Tu-di! Tudi! (Pigsy shouts as a small mound appears and he is thrown off. The Local Tudi pops out.) Ah, there you are!
Pigsy: Uh, he lives in a hole?
Monkey King: Oh, great Tudi, a demon has captured our Master and we fear for his safety. So you heard of anything like that? (Tudi describes the Scorpion Queen.) Whoa, interesting, go on. Yes. Okay. (Hours go by and it's the next day.) You don't say. Thank you for your knowledge.
Pigsy: What'd he say?
Monkey King: The demon we seek is... in that castle! (He points to a castle that has been in their view the whole time.)
Pigsy: Finding that out took all night?!
Monkey King: No, of course not! This guy's just awesome! So many great stories! (Tudi waves goodbye.)
(Tang is enjoying the food.)
Scorpion Queen: So, Great One, what brings you to this part of the world?
Tang: Uh, Great One? I could roll with that. We're on a quest! Another evil demon is trying to end all life as we know it, so we're looking for a weapon to defeat her. Uh, you don't happen to have a ring yay big, hmm? Made of fire? No? Okay, well I should probably be on my— (Scorpion Queen sticks a spoon in his mouth.)
Scorpion Queen: Uh-uh-uh. Just a few more bites.
Tang: Okay, maybe just one more bowl.
(Monkey King crashes in through the wall with Pigsy and Mo.)
Monkey King: Unhand my Master, you evil demon! I am Sun Wukong and the monk is under my protection!
Scorpion Queen: Protection from what? A beautiful queen?
Pigsy: Look, lady, we are not gonna let you eat my friend!
Scorpion Queen: I would never!
Monkey King: Oh, really? Then why all the illusions?! (He uses his powers to remove the illusions.)
Scorpion Queen: Fine. Fine! I'm a demon, okay?! You happy?! I just wanted to be a beautiful queen but ugh, "I'm a demon." (Tang tries to sneak away but Scorpion Queen picks him up with her tail.)
Tang: Uh, uh, hey, just so we're clear. Eating me won't make you immortal.
Monkey King: Of course it will! He's the Great Monk Tang Sanzang!
Tang: Ignore him. It's the pepper talking.
Scorpion Queen: For the last time, I don't want to eat anyone!
Tang: Oh, so can we just... go?
Scorpion Queen: What? No, you can't just go. You have to stay forever!
Monkey King: Don't worry, Master! Here comes Monkey King! (He stick breaks.) No, my staff. (He fights with Scorpion Queen.)
Pigsy: Tang, did she hurt you? Lock you up?!
Tang: Well...
Pigsy: She kept giving you noodles so you wouldn't leave, huh?
Tang: You should really get the recipe. (He appears before Monkey King and Scorpion Queen.) Wait! I get that you're alone, but lying about who you are, forcing people to be your companions is not the answer.
Scorpion Queen: I've been here by myself for so long. I heard Monkey King talk about you being his companions. Well, that's all I ever wanted: Friendship.
Tang: You can't steal friendship. It's something that's earned.
Monkey King: He's right. The three of us are friends because we choose to be.
Pigsy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're friends?
Monkey King: Of course we are! Everyone needs friends! Can you imagine what I'd be like without friends? I'd probably turn into a really manipulative jerk or something. (He laughs.)
Tang: Anyway, you'll find someone that wants to stay with you in this... lovely home... forever.
'Scorpion Queen: Yeah, yeah, but where am I gonna find someone like that?
Pigsy: Ooh hoho, I just had the best idea.
(Pigsy manages to convince Tudi to keep Scorpion Queen company.)
Scorpion Queen: Oh, well that's... Wow. You really know how to just keep on talking, don't ya?
(Outside, Tang and Pigsy watch Monkey King find his staff.)
Tang: We can't leave him like this. I think he's getting worse!
Monkey King: (He finds another stick.) Oh, here's my staff! (The tip of it breaks.)
Pigsy: I don't know, I'm starting to like him.
Tang: (He sees a big rock.) Amnesia rules. I'm gonna find something to bonk him on the head! (He dashes off.)
Pigsy: Don't just— (He sighs but sees Tang's book that he dropped. He opens it to the page of the Pilgrims.)
Monkey King: Hmm, you know, they really got your face just right. Super on model! (He takes the book himself and looks through it.)
Pigsy: Yeah... so hey, uh, listen. I guess I just wanted to say before you turn back to... Maybe you ain't so bad for the kid after all. Just do me a favor huh? Keep 'im safe, alright? When we get the three Rings of Samadhi.
Monkey King: Four Rings.
Pigsy: Four?! You never mentioned four— (He screams as the rock crushes Monkey King.)
Tang: Did it work?!
Pigsy: Tang! What are you doing?!
Tang: What? You're the one who said to hit him in the head.
Pigsy: Yeah, but I didn't say kill him!
Pigsy and Tang: Huh? (They watch Monkey King break out of the rock. He stretches and coughs out streams of flames.)
Monkey King: Hey, what-why is my mouth so hot? (Tang hugs him, crying.) Hey, why are you hugging me?
Tang: Oh, it worked! You got your memories back! Pigsy gave you a pepper. I-I told him not to and I thought you were...
(They drive off east to find the others. Pigsy recalls what he said to Monkey King.)
Past Pigsy: Just do me a favor, huh? Keep 'im safe, alright? When we get the three Rings of Samadhi.
Past Monkey King: Four Rings.
Past Pigsy: (He pulls down the rear-view mirror to look at Monkey King.) Four?! You never mentioned four— (He sees Monkey King look back at him, he puts it up again.)
Pigsy: Huh, four.
Tang: Huh? What was that, Pigsy?
Pigsy: Oh, uh, nothing.
(Monkey King looks at the page of the Pilgrims before closing the book.)