| Strings That Bind << Collar the King >> Temple of the Goddess |
First King: The world has fallen into chaos, and at every step of its descent... (MK, Monkey King and Macaque all fall down on the ground after being teleported into the Underworld.) You have been there.
MK: Wha— A second ago I was in bed. What's going on?
Monkey King: Yeah, the guys in the cool robes only strike when you're asleep. Kind of their thing.
Macaque: What do you want?
First King: Sun Wukong, the Six-Eared Macaque, and MK the Monkie Kid... you have been summoned before the Court of the Underworld to answer for your crimes.
Second King: You stand before the Ten Kings, guardians of the great cycle.
Third King: A cycle which has been disrupted.
Monkey King: Help me remember. What was it the last time you all brought me here? Oh, right. Things didn't super work out for you.
First King: And as I recalled, you removed your name from the Book of the Dead.
Third King: A similar crime has led to this moment. The Scroll of Memory was stolen. Your guilt is obvious.
MK: Wait, are we on trial? Do we need a lawyer? (MK gasps, and immediately switches to a lawyer's outfit.) Don't worry. I watched almost every episode of Monkey Cop: Courtroom Edition! Hehe. Uh, your honors. What exactly are the charges?
First King: Because of your actions, the Jade Emperor fell.
Fourth King: And now the Pillar of Heaven has been irreparably damaged.
Monkey King: The Pillar of Heaven?
Fourth King: You stand accused of the destruction of this world.
MK: Huh, Imma-Imma need a minute with my clients. (MK huddles up with Macaque and Monkey King.) Okay. My professional legal advice is... we should leave!
Monkey King: Hmm... not seeing a door, so... I'm just gonna make one!
First King: We thought you might try some... foolishness to escape justice. And so, we have brought upon a power even greater than yours.
(A portal is summoned by the kings. Ne Zha appears.)
MK: Ne Zha? Hey, Ne Zha!
Monkey King: (He chuckles.) This is your big scary?
(Li Jing also appears out of the portal.)
Monkey King: Uh, okay. A little more powerful than Nezh-ie.
First King: Pagoda-Wielding General, Li Jing... new leader of the Celestial Realm.
MK: Ne Zha's dad? Ne Zha, your dad's the new Jade Emperor?
Ne Zha: The Jade Emperor cannot be replaced.
Li Jing: In his absence, I have been in charge of resolving this.
Monkey King: Big ups on the promotion, Li. I always knew you'd weasel your way to the top!
Li Jing: The world is on a knife's edge. You add nothing but chaos.
MK: Ooo-objection! Ergo, fees or fee, we're guilty until proven innocent— Nah oh wait, forget I said that.
Monkey King: You know that pagoda of yours isn't going to be enough to stop us.
Li Jing: Perhaps. There was only one thing that could ever bring the Great Sage to yield, as I've been in power by the Heavenly Host...
Macaque: STOP!
Li Jing: I collar the beast!
(Monkey King is summoned a new circlet. He yells in pain. MK starts glitching into his Monkey form.)
MK: NO! No, no, no...
Monkey King: It's okay, kid. We're okay.
Li Jing: Wukong's fangs have been pulled.
Ne Zha: Father. These three, they're not—
Li Jing: Control yourself. This sideshow is over.
(Ne Zha looks back at the three concernedly and frowns. He follows Li Jing into leaving the courtroom, and the three are transported into a cellar in the Celestial Realm.)
(In their prison cell, MK is trying to pull Monkey King's new circlet out of him.)
MK: Didn't Mr. Tang's past life guy put one of these dealies on you originally?
Monkey King: This one's somehow tighter. I really, really didn't wanna wear one of these again. (He looks at Macaque.) Classic, I get all the punishment and you get to mope!
Macaque: Maybe going to jail wasn't on my agenda for tonight.
Monkey King: Oh, so you think this is my idea of a good time, trapped in here with you?
(After awkward silence, MK continues trying to pull the circlet out.)
MK: Wow, that is... that is really on there. I nearly got it... (MK summons his staff from his ear to try to break it, but he gets launched into a wall). I don't have it.
(The wall near him opens a gate. Ne Zha appears on the other side.)
MK: Ne Zha! You're busting us out? Ah, amazing. It's, uh... it's tense in here.
Ne Zha: This is... not what I wanted.
Monkey King: Weren't you meant to be busy guarding the Jade Emperor's power? Don't tell me Daddy Jing took over that job too. (Chuckling.) You got demoted!
Ne Zha: Just stop!
(Ne Zha opens the gate to talk to them. Monkey King pulls out three strings of hair and sweeps them to the other side of the portal.)
Ne Zha: Someone's trying to destroy the Pillar of Heaven. And my father—
MK: Sorry if I'm jumping in here, but what's the Pillar of Heaven, exactly?
Ne Zha: If the old legends can be believed, the pillar is a mystic energy that holds back the Primordial Chaos.
Monkey King: It's what lets the world be... the world.
MK: Mmm. Yes, good. Now, do it like Tang.
Monkey King: For real?
MK: Helps me learn!
(Monkey King sighs and puts on Tang glasses.)
Monkey King: (Tang impression.) Legend tells that the universe was born into chaos. Long ago a sanctuary was constructed, this world, protected from the chaos by the Pillar of Heaven.
MK: And someone's trying to break it!
Monkey King: Not for the first time.
MK: Mmm, mmm, mmm!
Monkey King: Ugh. (He returns to his Tang impression.) It was broken, once before. Chaos poured into the realm, until the goddess Nüwa mended the pillar with the mystical five colored stones.
MK: Sounds like someone needs to get those stones and get to mending.
Macaque: The kid's right, which begs the question of why you're here, instead of out there working on a rock collection.
Ne Zha: My father—
MK: Doesn't want anyone looking for 'em! Interesting, suspicious...
Ne Zha: Yes, what? Wha... What's he doing?
Macaque: Ignore it. It's his lawyer bit.
(MK puts on his uniform again.)
MK: Best attorney monkeys can buy. Hmm... if I was a secret enemy trying to break a magic pillar, I— objection!.. — to people looking for the magic rocks that can fix it as well.
Ne Zha: My father is not the enemy.
MK: I mean, he put us in a cell, and a pain cap on Monkey King's head. You know, it's not... it's not best friend behavior!
Ne Zha: This was a mistake.
(The clones Monkey King made start forming.)
Monkey King Clone: Yeah, super was.
Ne Zha: What? No!
Monkey King Clone: Haha, you always fall for the clone bit!
MK Clone: And now you're stuck inside! And the real us'es are out here.
MK, Monkey King and Macaque: (Monotone.) I'm a clone.
Ne Zha: No!
(He launches at them, not realizing they're the actual clones.)
Monkey King Clone: Hahaha! Told you you'd always fall for it.
(The clones disappear. Ne Zha gets angry at the real trio who escaped the cell.)
Monkey King: Someone's trying to destroy the world. I'm not going to let anyone stop us from saving it.
MK: (Simultaneously.) Here comes Jailbreak Kid!
Monkey King: (Simultaneously.) Here comes Jailbreak King!
(A bunch of clones pile on Ne Zha while the trio run away.)
Ne Zha: WUKONG!
(MK, Macaque and Monkey King successfully kick out of the prison. MK fails the landing and gets close to the edge of a bridge, before Monkey King pulls him back up.)
Monkey King: C'mon, kid!
(The three try to run away from the Celestial Armies.)
Celestial Armies: Get back here!
Macaque: It's always like this when you come here!
(Monkey King laughs. They are stopped by an army with the guard wielding a sword.)
Celestial Guard: That's far enough, prisoners!
Monkey King: Heh. This guy thinks he's the main character.
(Macaque kicks the guard and Monkey King steals his word.)
MK: Oh my Great Sage!
(The guards get nervous, and are later thrown into the sky defeated. The trio continue to run away.)
MK: We have to get out of here.
Monkey King: Yeah, but you're really not gonna like how we do it.
MK: Wha?
(Monkey King rams them all over the edge of the bridge down to the sky.)
Monkey King: Alley-oop!
Macaque: Wukong!
(Monkey King throws the sword downward and opens a portal out of the realm.)
(Sandy backs up his new truck near the noodle shop. Tang is eating a bowl of noodles.)
Mei: Oooh, Sandy, love your new truck!
Sandy: You know, I got a feeling this baby's built to last.
(The sword falls onto the truck along with MK, Monkey King and Macaque.)
Monkey King: Weee!
(The trio crash into the truck. A tire falls out of the broken truck and the sword gets thrown into the tire, flattening it.)
Sandy: D'oh.
Pigsy: MK! Good of you to show up for work.... eight hours late!
MK: Yeah, we have to go.
Tang: Does that have anything to do with the ominous cracks being back?
Monkey King: It's okay. We've got a plan.
Macaque: Oh, do we? Huh! We don't even know if these magical pillar healing stones exist.
MK: What if going after the stones is just.. another tricky plan by some tricky plan demon... like i-i-if this is exactly what they want? What if we really are... chaos?
Monkey King: Listen, bud. The only thing I know for sure is, I don't trust anyone who isn't standing here right now.
Macaque: Hm?
Monkey King: If those stones are important, the safest place for them is with us.
Pigsy: Uh, what stones?
(A bunch of portals from the Celestial Realm appear from the sky.)
Tang: Feels like we're still missing some pretty important information!
MK: We're... sorta on the run from the Celestial Realm.
Pigsy: What?!
MK: We can explain everything. (Celestial Guards appear around everyone.) Later! We can explain later!
Mei: Oh, probably wish you hadn't smashed up Sandy's new truck, right MK?
MK: Huh? Oh. Here comes Monkie Kid!
(MK upgrades the truck using his new powers.)
Mei: Everybody, in!
(Everybody runs to the Team Power Truck, but Li Jing appears and uses the circlet on Monkey King. He starts to yell.)
Macaque: Wukong!
MK: No!
Li Jing: This foolishness is over.
(MK starts glitching in his Monkey form again. Macaque slaps Li Jing's seal away and creates a distraction.)
Macaque: Kid, go save the world.
(Macaque transports MK and Monkey King into the truck.)
MK: What?
Monkey King: No, Macaque!
(The gang appear in front of Tang in the back seat. The truck sets off. Macaque unleashes his Smoke Monster form and approaches Li Jing. MK looks at the fight from a distance.)
MK: He'll get away, right? He always gets away. Right?
(Macaque gets locked inside the Pagoda successfully. A mysterious figure dressed as an Underworld King looks down from a distance at Li Jing, and grins maliciously.)