| Great Grand Dragon of the East << Smartie Kid >> The Winning Side |
(The team is rolling along in the Desert.)
Sandy: Are we sure we're going in the right direction?
Tang: Not a clue. All Monkey King said to do was head west, so—
Mei: How did anyone ever get anywhere using these?
Monkey King: Yo, blue thing, want to crank up that AC, brother?
Mei: Uh, hey. Little help up front, Monkey King? (Monkey King tilts his head back and snores.) Hey, I know you can hear me!
Monkey King: No, I can't.
MK: Mei, Monkey King needs to recharge after his fight with Ne Zha. He is in no state to waste his time on mere mortals. Especially now that I don't have my powers.
Pigsy: Whoa, he told you that?
MK: We have a very honest relationship, Pigsy. Besides, that kind of Mystic Monkey meditation requires complete focus, apparently. (Pigsy facepalms while Mei sighs.)
Sandy: Come on, MK, don't be so glum! We'll roll down that window. Lil' fresh air never hurt— (Sandy and Mo scream as flames fly in through the window.) That's so much worse! (Sandy rolls the window back up. Mo stamps out the fire from his hair.)
Pigsy: Kid, you know there's more to you than just your powers, right?
MK: Exactly. I've accepted until I get my staff back, I'm not gonna be the strong one anymore, which is why I'm gonna be... the smart one!
Tang: Excuse me?
Mei: Oh, MK.
MK: a2 + b2 = c2 Oh, that's a triangle, boi!
Tang: Right, so how did this map work exactly? How does it know where to find the three Rings of Samadhi?
MK: This sounds like a job for Smartie Kid! (He examines the map.) I guess that symbol looks kinda like that one?
Mei: What, (She rubs the red ring.) those smudgey-looking things?
MK: Yes, right? It's the, you know, firey-looking one?
Pigsy: Not to rush anyone, but how far 'till the next pit stop? This desert's going on forever!
MK: Hm, well if this map is up-to-date, then it looks like we're pretty close to... something? (The others groan.) It's fine, guys! Right, Sandy?
Sandy: Of course, yeah. (The T.E.A. breaks down. They look at the thermometer.) Oh, uh, I mean no.
(Sandy takes a look at the engine while the others check out the desert.)
Mei: So, how is meditating going to help him recharge or whatever he's doing?
MK: I don't know. He's a little sketchy on the details. (He recalls what Monkey King said before he went into meditation.)
Past Monkey King: Sometimes to find what we lost, we need to begin where we started. Look within ourselves. So I'm gonna do just that and go into some deep meditation. Wake me up some time in the next uh, I don't know, hundred years. 'Kay? Bye! (He enters his transcendental meditation.)
Past MK: Wait, what?!
(Back in the present, MK pokes Monkey King while Mei snaps photos of him.)
Tang: H2OMG, you guys! Is that? (They see an oasis.)
Mei, MK, Pigsy, and Tang: Water! (They dash off and Monkey King is tilted over. He groans.)
(Tang arrives first but crashes into what is actually a muddy puddle. MK sucks it all up with a straw.)
Goldfish Demon: Um, esqueeze me, but you'll have to pay for that. (MK spits all the water out.)
Mei: But we're really, really, thirsty. Please, fish man, won't you show us some mercy?
Goldfish Demon: Oh, you're thirsty? Well, why didn't you just say so? Go ahead and help yourselves. (They look at dirty puddle again.)
Pigsy: Okay, well uh, maybe we can buy something else. Something that could get us across this desert faster, for instance.
MK: Yeah, what can we get for... (He slaps a bit of junk on the counter.) this many?
Goldfish Demon: Hm, that'll get you nothin like this. (He whips out a shiny engine.)
Mei: (Whispering.) It's beautiful.
MK: But we could never afford something like that. I bet it cost like a bajillion moneys.
Goldfish Demon: Well, you could always win the engine.
MK: Win?!
Goldfish Demon: But of course! (He sets up the Desert Deal of the Day.) Welcome to Desert Deal of the Day! With me, your host, the Goldfish Demon! (The cardboard audience cheers.) The rules, they are simple: you put up something of value in order to win something of value. Win the game, get the prize!
MK: We just have to win one game, and the sparkly cool-looking engine thingy is ours?
Goldfish Demon: You got it, tiger.
MK: Hmm, team huddle! Alright, we got this. We battled demons and spiders and bulls! A game show ain't nothin'. Plus, with my newfound smart-boy brain, this should be a piece of cake. I mean, what do we have to lose?
Tang: Uh, what do we have to lose?
MK: (They pop their heads out as MK asks Goldfish Demon.) Hey, uh, what happens if we lose?
Goldfish Demon: No, that's simple, really: Winner takes all! Everything you wager is forfeit should you lose. (He laughs evilly.)
MK: Yeah, alright. (They get back into huddling.) Okay, so, what do we wager?
Goldfish Demon: (He pops into the huddle.) Remember, it has to be something of equal value. (He leaves the huddle.)
Mei: Equal value? Like what?
(MK slaps down the Dragon Blade on the counter.)
MK: Alright, we're ready to play!
Mei: Uh, MK? I have second thoughts. Sorry, Goldfish Man, we need to uh strategize a little bit more—
Goldfish Demon: Wager accepted! Let the game begin! This game is called One Shell Monty.
Monty: Hey, I'm Monty.
Goldfish Demon: The rules are simple: I place Monty under one of these three plates. Give them a shuffle and you point to the one that contains Monty.
MK: Three plates, three rings. (He gasps.) Like a triangle! I can do this! Don't worry, Mei, my big-boy smart brain won't let us down.
Mei: (Tears have appeared in her eyes.) It was nice knowing you, Dragon Sword.
Goldfish Demon: Alright, oh, let's go! (He switches them.) Where... is... Monty?!
MK: Take the square root of the hippopotamus, then cosine over the root, and a tangent. (A bell dings off as he gets excited.) It's that one! (He points to the right and Golfish Demon lifts it, revealing to be empty.)
Goldfish Demon: Oh! (He imitates sad trombone sounds.) So close! But I'll be taking that sword now.
Mei: MK! (She sobs.) My sword!
Goldfish Demon: You know, you could always wager again if you like. Something of equal value to the sword and the engine?
MK: (He slaps down pieces of paper.) You're on!
Goldfish Demon: Hmm, one deed to a Pigsy's Noodles? Fancy! I'll take it!
Pigsy: MK, this better work!
MK: Pigsy, trust me! Based on the Law of Averages, I'm bound to win eventually.
Pigsy: That is not how math works!
Golfish Demon: Okay, here we go again! Where... is... Monty?!
MK: Take the right side of the right triangle... (He calculates, muttering about a2's, b2's, and c2's.) There! (He points to the middle.)
Goldfish Demon: (He lifts it.) Yo, tough break, little buddy! Dare to try again?
(MK slaps down a box of Monkey Cop action figures.)
MK: Yes!
Mei, Pigsy, and Tang: No!
Goldfish Demon: Oopsy daisy. (Tang's book is thrown in.) Nope! (More valuables are thrown in.) Wrong again! (Valuables pile up until there is seemingly nothing left.) Well, well, well, it looks like you've wagered just about everything you have, kiddo. Tough break, guys.
MK: This-this is impossible! But-But I'm the smart one! The Law of Averages has betrayed me.
Pigsy: Kid, just forget it. We don't got anything else to bet.
Goldfish Demon: He's right, you know. Besides, what more could a goldfish want? I have all the treasures in the world!
MK: Come on, MK, you can do this. Ah, if only I had my Gold Vision. (He gasps.) Wait, I do have one last thing I could wager. (He shakily holds up the map to the Rings of Samadhi. The group gasps in horror.)
Tang: MK, don't be crazy! It took everything Monkey King had to get that map. You can't just—
MK: I bet... the power of friendship!
Mei, Pigsy, and Tang: What?! (MK grabs the group and tosses them in.)
Mei: (Simultaneously.) You've gotta be kidding me!
Tang: (Simultaneously.) What?!
Pigsy: (Simultaneously.) What are you doing?!
Goldfish Demon: Uh, yeah, I don't think this is—
MK: There is nothing more valuable than friendship. And there is no way I can lose if my friends are at stake.
Goldfish Demon: Well, I suppose I could use a servant.. or three! Alright, you're on!
MK: Come on, MK, you can't let your friends down. (He manages to tap into his Gold Vision.)
Goldfish Demon: So, where... is... Monty?!
MK: The one in the middle!
Goldfish Demon: Oh, so sad, too bad, but you could— (He gasps when he sees Monty.) What? Impossible! How did you—
MK: It's simple, really. You were fooling us the whole time but I, Monkie Kid, delivery boy, somewhat equal to Heaven, saw right through your trick. (He puts his hand under the contraption in the table.)
Mei: (Simultaneously.) What?!
Pigsy: (Simultaneously.) Knew it!
MK: You rigged this table so that no matter what plate Monty was under, he would drop out from under it just as your contestant made their choice, which makes you a cheater! (An enraged Pigsy, Mei, and Tang immediately appear before the Goldfish Demon.)
Golfish Demon: Now, now, now, listen. Uh, we can make a deal! Friends?
Mei: (laughs menacingly) We'll make a deal, alright.
(They managed to get all their items back and Sandy finishes up with the new engine.)
Sandy: And we are ready to go!
Mei: So wait, how did you get back your Gold Vision again?
MK: I don't know. The same way I got them in the first place I guess? (He recalls all his past times when he achieved a new power.) Every time I learned a new ability, it was because there was something I needed to do, when there was no other way. Against the Goldfish guy, I needed to do something to save my friends.
Pigsy: Yeah, friends that you put in danger on purpose.
MK: Yeah, right, uh huh, like I said: Save my friends and then haha I don't know, it just happened.
Monkey King: You found your strength. (He leaves his meditation trance.) When you needed it most.
Mei: Oh, I guess someone's done meditating.
MK: This whole time, I thought my powers came from the staff.
Monkey King: The staff's just a big ol' stick, bud. Takes someone special to lift it. Well, one power down. Just a few thousand more to go!
(They blast off west through the desert.)